First one is from Google. I was having some problems with my computer at the time and was looking up how to access something (can't remember what), and this popped up. I wonder who was searching this?
Second is from an AIM conversation I was having with my gf of the time (now my ex). She later called me and was 100% convinced that I actually did. Red is me, Blue is her.
I'm a dick sometimes.
EDIT: No, I didn't actually do it. I just liked messing with her head ^_^